Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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