He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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