i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
