am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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