Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
