3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
