There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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