This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I party with great urgency now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
