He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
