I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Everything about him screamed your future.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think my moral compass just broke
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