I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My ATM looks so different sober.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
