I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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