the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
