My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize