She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
