Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
