Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
