I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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