Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize