glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize