Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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