lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
