Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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