Sponge bath it is.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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