There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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