Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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