tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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