he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
