If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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