Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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