Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
