mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
