my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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