Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if only i could text you this smell
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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