You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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