You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
