got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You brought string cheese to the strip club
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
