Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No subtext here. People are naked.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
