Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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