these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
did you just send me my own nude
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize