If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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