I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
