He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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