Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
