There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
