My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
