I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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