I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
