Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
