I think I just saw someone hide a body.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
