He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
