The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
