Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
