Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
